When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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