The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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