Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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