His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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