As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
