STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
