So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my shit smells like andre
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
