Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
