in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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