I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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