im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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