yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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