So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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