did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I party with great urgency now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
