It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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