You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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