This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
