She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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