i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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