Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
