nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love having hate sex.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
