You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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