1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
