Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
