before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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