help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
