I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
