I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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