I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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