this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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