Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
