remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i need to put some appletini on your dick
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
