Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize