I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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