Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
