one two three fourrrrnication!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
