Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
