I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
