I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize