you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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