I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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