So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
