people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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