We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
