you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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