guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Randomize
