We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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