bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
