we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
