You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
