there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
