Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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