i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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