Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My bed smells like the plague
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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