Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.