Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
