There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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