yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick