Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?