I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
