everyone is single if you try hard enough
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
