i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
