and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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